*Don't* Follow Your Heart

The heart is often thought of as being more of an abstract idea than a literal organ pumping blood through our bodies. We tend to view our hearts as being the seat of our emotions. We commonly say things like, “my heart is full” to express feelings such as joy or excitement or contentment. We might describe our hearts as feeling “heavy” when we are ladened down by sadness or sorrow or disappointment. And we all know what the term “heartbreak” is meant to denote.

However we might view our heart and the emotions that flow out of it, the Bible has some things to teach us about this faculty that holds so much power in our daily lives. In knowing what God says about our hearts, we can better understand them and our emotions and seek to honor Him in how we respond to what we feel.

A Signal Light

The first car Josh and I ever owned as a married couple was a lime green ford fiesta. Now, it wasn’t enough that it was a subcompact car you could barely see out of. No, it also had to be a bright, fluorescent green—we’re talking booger green. However, we were newly married, serving as youth leaders and working low-paying part-time jobs on the side, and we barely had enough money to make ends meet. So, this little car that Josh had paid for in cash at the end of his sophomore year of college was our only option. We ran that poor thing ragged in the four years we had it. We drove it on several long road trips, shared it every day for our work commutes, and weathered some very heavy snowstorms in it. By the time we finally saw some improvement in our finances and were able to afford an upgrade, the car regularly had several warning lights on. We even reached a point where the check engine light would come on occasionally and then turn off again on its own (because, what’s the point?!), and we would find ourselves praying every time we turned the car on that the pesky engine light wouldn’t come on. But then, one hot summer day, we were stuck in bumper-to bumper traffic when we noticed thick plumes of smoke puff out from under the hood. That was the moment it was clear: we could not ignore that pesky little light anymore.  

A check engine light is an indicator--a warning. Something is happening under the hood, and the longer it goes ignored, the more you will be able to see it spilling out on the outside. It is very similar with our emotions. Our hearts are the engine, hidden deep beneath the hood in a place no one can see. Our emotions are the signal light, telling us that something is happening we may not be aware of. When we ignore these lights, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to address what is really going on on the inside, and this can have compounded effects on us over time.

The Bible reinforces this understanding of our emotions and the heart. Proverbs 27:19 uses the idea of a reflection to help us understand how what is in our hearts is what is really true about us:

“As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man.”

Likewise, Proverbs 4:23 cautions,

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

And Jesus taught in Luke 6:45 that,

“The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil

person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his

mouth speaks.”

Jesus is helping us see that what comes out of us shows us what is inside of us. This should show us that not all our emotions are meant to signal something bad! Sometimes we have positive emotions indicating good treasure welling up inside of us. Luke 2:19 describes Mary, after giving birth to the promised Messiah, “treasuring up all these things and pondering them in her heart.” This is a great example of taking an inventory of the amazing things God is doing and experiencing that “full heart” feeling we all long for. This was a monumental moment in Mary’s life, and I am sure it left her with a lot to process.

Big moments are often accompanied by big feelings. Sometimes we might even struggle to discern whether we are feeling nervous or excited!

Grief is like this, too. None of us wants to experience a season of loss leading to grief, but in a fallen world, it is somewhat inevitable. There are two general appraches our culture takes to the feelings of grief, and that is to ignore it, or to "feel the feels". While ignoring what we feel is never helpful, it is also important not to sit in grief for an endless amount of time. We need to give ourselves the time and space for grieving the hard realities of our broken world, but this should also have a timestamp on it. We must remind ourselves of truths like Psalm 34:18, which says,

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit."

and Proverbs 17:22:

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

It's also important to remember in seasons of grieving that joy is not a feeling, but a constant command in our lives. You can still remain constant in joy even as you mourn, because God is near to you in the mourning. He is the source of your joy even as the tears fall. His love and His joy are the medicine to your soul when you are hurting.

The work of interpreting our emotions is not something we do perfectly. It’s okay to feel the mingling of seemingly conflicting feelings. Big, messy works lead to big, messy feelings, and sometimes we must simply throw our hands up and admit that we can’t always put a name to what God is doing. His work is deep, and His Spirit is constantly present with us as we ride waves of changing emotions. He is committed to knowing you even when you don’t know yourself. You can lean into these emotions and ask God to use what you are feeling to teach you more about yourself and Who He is.

The work of interpreting our emotions is not something we do perfectly.

Before The Smoke

What do negative indicators look like in our lives? How do we know if our emotions are cautioning us that something sinful is happening on the inside? Jesus’ words in Luke 6:45 warn us that if bad things are coming out, there are evil things happening within. The smoke rising from my car was a sign that I had ignored the signs for far too long. We often see “smoke” in our lives, too. This might look like angry outbursts or fits of rage resulting from feelings of anger or bitterness that we have left unchecked. You may recall that Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and do not sin.” This suggests that it is possible to feel the feeling of anger and not act upon it, to catch it quickly enough to not let it become a sinful behavior in my life. The goal, then, is to address the heart issues before we get to the point that we are seeing smoke.

Jesus gives us some very practical wisdom--He wants us to listen to ourselves, to hear our own voices and what they sound like and what that might be pointing to on the inside. He also wants us to observe our actions, to see how our physical reactions serve as an outward expression of an inward reality. When I lash out on my husband or a friend in angry words, or I throw a pillow at the wall, it is showing me that I have a deeper issue to address. These are visible manifestations of the heart realities going on.

This is also why we need the Word of God, to help us see where our motives and intentions and heart attitudes do not align with what God desires for us. Hebrews 4:12 says,

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the

thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

I think we could tend to view this verse as intimidating, but really, I think we should be encouraged to hear that even when we don’t know ourselves, God’s Word pierces through all the layers of our identity to the truest reality of who we are. David talks about a similar idea in Psalm 139 when he talks about how God has searched him and known him, how God knows his thoughts, his movements, even the words he will say. This Psalm teaches us that there is nowhere we can go that God’s presence does not go before us, that God fearfully and wonderfully made us, knitting us together in our mother’s wombs, that He has all of our days written in a book. I love what David says in verses 17-18:

“How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I

would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.”

David is communicating something very important about God: His thoughts towards us are endless. He knows us better than we even know ourselves. David then ends this incredible Psalm with these words in verses 23-24:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if

there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”

This is what our prayer must be, to be able to understand our hearts, our intentions and our motivations better. We must ask God to show us the “grievous ways” that lurk beneath the surface, hidden form our sight, so that we can address them before they go up in smoke that affects not only us, but the people around us.

Greater Than Our Hearts

I’m sure you have heard the phrase “follow your heart” many times in secular circles. It is worked into so much of our media and even fuels movements like the “self-help” culture that is so popular in our society today. Our would teaches us to “do what feels right to you”, to “love yourself” and to “live your truth”. All this stems from a core belief that doing what your heart tells you will lead you to your fullest life.

The Bible has something very different to teach us about the condition and the reliability of our hearts. Consider the words of Jeremiah 17:9:

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”

I don’t know about you, but the last thing I want to derive my whole source of truth and meaning in life from is something deceitful and sick. Why would I want to build my life on something that might mislead me, or that is so weak it could easily fail me? And yet, so often, this is the first place we turn to for guidance. We are a hopeless race if all we have to lead us in this life is a lying, broken heart.

However, in the midst of the brokenness, the Gospel gives hope. I love I John 3:19-23:

“By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for

whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows

everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before

God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments

and do what pleases him.”

You heart is a liar. Your heart condemns you and at the first opportunity, it will mislead you. And yet, God is greater than your heart. He knows everything, as Psalm 139 teaches, which means He knows your heart inside and out. He sent His Son Jesus to die for your sinful heart, and He is the only One Who offers healing for the brokenness. 

We are a hopeless race if all we have to lead us in this life is a lying, broken heart.

Lean In

When that signal light comes on, or you see smoke spilling out everywhere, it’s time to spend some time with the One Who spends every day thinking thoughts more numerous than the sands of the sea about you. He loved you enough to send Jesus to die for your heart, so that you could follow Him instead. In moments when you don’t know yourself and can’t sort through the messy, sometimes mingled feelings, ask Him for guidance and help. He cares about the big feelings you feel in every big moment, and He is with you in that moment. Choose to lean into His care in your life and watch Him use your emotions for His glory and for your good.